A noob’s guide to 96 hours of gaming – A long weekend survival guide

The long weekend is upon us and there is one thing on every gamers mind. The next 96 hours of "work the next day" free gaming. This weekend will not be an easy feat. You’ll have to dodge family obligations, fight with your bodily needs and ensure that down time is minimized – so we’ve put together a “Noob’s survival guide” to get you through the four-day weekend!

Excuses, excuses, excuses…

These long weekends are typically seen as a “family” weekend. How appalling is that? I am expected to go and sit with “dear aunty Edna” for an entire day, because it’s holiday season.

Not gonna happen.

To get out of the obligatory family get together's, I find feigned illness works best, but you’ll need something that will essentially put you out of commission for four to five days, whilst also not rendering you so sick, that you cannot play games. I checked online and these are some of the easiest illnesses to fake, that will keep you on the couch all weekend, without peeking suspicion:

· Diarrhea

· Migraine

· Gastroenteritis

· Flu / Cough & Colds

· Eye Infections

· Allergies

· Viral Fevers

· Chickenpox

· Physical Injuries / Home Accidents

If you really want to cement these, check out BestFakeDoctorsNotes for more info on faking illness and ensuring you get maximized play time. (Quick side note - we are in no way partnered to the aforementioned site and using any tips/ content on the site is done in your own personal capacity).

That annoying thing called sleep

They say that geniuses like Einstein only had a few hours sleep a day and could function without issue, having gone days without so much as a wink at times. I may be unique in this, but I am the contrary and require a minimum of six hours to prevent the involuntary beating to death of my co-workers. So here are the best tips I could find online, for those who are in the unfortunate position, like me, of needing sleep so, so badly and need to maximize on quality over quantity:

1. Exercise regularly – Pffft, as if. I’m not condoning this kind of behaviour, but if you have to apply this, I suppose we can at least incorporate it into a gaming activity. Check out the below graphic for some tips;

2. Make sure your alarm isn’t screaming at you – That technical deathcore song that you love is rad AF and you should be listening to it as often as you can, but perhaps you should think about changing from hardcore breakdowns to melodic harps when you wake up…

3. Nap the right way – So this one had me in stitches. Aren’t all naps the right kind of naps? According to “experts” (damn straight, I just questioned their professionalism, they’re insulting my beloved nap time) you should be napping for no longer than half an hour (30 minutes) per day. You should also nap between the hours of 13:00 and 15:00. Apparently, these shorter and more time conscious naps are supposed to give you an energy boost without effecting your sleep cycle, although I’m not sure that a well-rounded sleep cycle is our objective here.

My suggestion is to plan your nap/ sleep time around times where your online mates are not online. For example, just before 19:00 when most people are logging on and after 03:00 when most people are logging off (if playing multiplayer).

4. Lower/ increase your body temperature – Some of the articles I’ve read say that you should have a hot bath before bed, and some say the opposite and advise you should have a cold bath. Either way, experts advise that if you are not at your ideal body temperature before sleeping, you will struggle to get that quality sleep that you need to maximize your game time.

5. More chop ‘n less dop (for our English readers, more food and less booze) – Once again, those annoying experts advise that while alcohol is an effective tool for getting to sleep, once the effects of the alcohol in your body dissipate, you are more likely to have disturbances in your sleep cycle and therefore have a less effective sleep. This advice does not come from me, so please, before you start throwing empty Klippies bottles at me, I’ll repeat, NOT MY ADVICE.

Watch what you eat

Speaking of food, you should be eating healthier – Sugary foods can be a great way to get a short burst in energy, but the resulting effect is a drop off in energy, leaving you worse off than before. Carboloading is the best bet when going for long distance. Carbs release energy slowly into your body and ensure that you don’t get quick bursts of energy and even quicker drops.

Take regular breaks

Given that the article is about gaming, it seems counter-intuitive to say that you should be taking breaks, but as we all know, overdoing a game can lead to under-performance. The consistent advice found, from the research I did said that when doing anything that requires concentration, a fifteen-minute break taken every hour will maximize performance and ensure that you are beating more bosses and winning more battles, without frustration and fatigue setting in.

Go walk the dog, take a smoke break or even (and this is really only if you have to) go and socialize with family. Moderation is the key to success.

Stay hydrated

Energy drinks are to gamers, what diamonds are to girls and that’s cool, but when you’re trying to maintain a certain level of gaming (and avoid kidney infections), water is your best friend. Remember, being hydrated helps basic brain functions happen and if you are not taking in enough water, you will have a sudden wall of fatigue sucker punch you in the face.

Check your Loadshedding schedule

This one is a uniquely South African issue, so if you’re not in SA and reading this, you can skip this part (or don’t and laugh at us with your lights on).

I know we don’t have Loadshedding currently, so this one is not a massive concern, but it includes checking all of your electronic devices, cables and so on. Check your ISP for any scheduled down time. Make sure your controller is charged (or in some cases has batteries that won’t go flat), make sure that you have sufficient power adapters available in case your friends feel like coming over for some “same location” gaming. The list of things goes on. Basically, prepare for the worst, to get the best out of your gaming weekend.

If you are concerned about Loadshedding, I suggest downloading the “EskomSePush” app. It’s the most accurate that I’ve found.

Finally, a checklist of the essentials

In case you were TLDR’ing the post, here is a summary of the essentials from the above that you should have on hand:

· Your “get out of jail free card” or in this case, illness to avoid social obligations

· PJ’s (or comfy clothes)

· Blankets

· Water bottles (with water in)

· Precooked food (ready to be nuked in the microwave for minimal downtime) – Remember, carbs over sugar

· Smokes (if applicable)

· Snacks (Avoid sugary things – stick to seeds, health chips, etc)

· Alcohol or gamer grass (or both) – I know we said don’t do it, but let’s be realistic with ourselves here…

· Extra batteries and chargers

· A preselected alarm song that is more harmony than headbanging

· A good selection of games to ensure less monotony and consequent frustration

That just about wraps up the article. If you have any other survival tips for your fellow gamers, leave us a comment and let us know your thoughts! As always, its been really fun to write this and I really hope that you had as much fun reading it as I did writing it.

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Shot a lot legends (and have a great Easter weekend)

Gray (Editor)

GT (PS): n2ut14

IG: graybland14